Once a upon a time when my husband and I first started dating the subject of kids came about. He, at the time, didn't have any desire to have children where as I was determined to do so. My husband has always been an avid traveler and in his mind having kids would hinder that traveling ability. However, I contested this and had lots of examples of friends who had procreated and were traveling all over the world without hinderance. I used there parents as a paradigm as what parenting could be and was convinced we could do just as well with our future children.
So recently my husband and I thought taking our boys (ages 4 and 1) on a 7 day trip to Montana would be an adventure. And an adventure it certainly was. But honestly the real question is "What were we thinking?!" The real truth that people either won't or simply don't tell you is that traveling with children sucks. Period. The pictures of fabulous locations and smiling faces is maybe more of a facade to what actually took place in-between each photo.
Perhaps it's the age of my children? Maybe when they are older it'll be easier to travel with them? But this trip, despite having been meticulously planned out, was complete chaos. In hind site perhaps the meticulous planning perhaps we just overloaded the trip and caused the chaos that ensued. Prior to our trip I searched lots lots of blogs of fellow parents in an attempt to secure the best advise from those who had gone these roads before us. So with all of their advice and my now personal experience I've put together my own list of advise.
1. One blog my husband read advised to take small toys as presents to keep kids distracted. So we did this, several presents I carried in my luggage and bags to pass out during one of our two flights. My honest opinion of this tip. Forget it! These presents were exciting to my kids for as long as the wrapping was still intact. Once it was all destroyed the novelty of this new toy wore off as quickly as a wet stamp. In our hotel to keep them quite there was slightly more interest. But again it wore off. My advise is that this particular tip wasn't really worth the effort. You could just as easily purchase new toys during your travels.
2. Screentime. When traveling it's not a debate anymore about how much time is appropriate etc etc. When traveling, especially hours on an airplane, it can become a welcome distraction and attention holder for you children. Mainly the older one, in our case our 4 year old. Typically at home we limit the amount of tv and screen time our kids are allowed to partake in. So don't think we are one of "those" parents that just sit their kids in front of a moving picture screen of flashing nonsense as a way to babysit them. But, when the toys, and books failed that screen became a relief from constant attempts at discipline and incessant "NO's". When we were in the car driving through Yellowstone and looking for different animals we did not allow for the screen to be out and in use. We encouraged them to look out the window and enjoy the sites and find ways to keep them engaged in our trip. But airports, airplanes, and keeping them quiet in thin walled hotel rooms, definitely.
3. Don't forget, they're kids. Meaning don't make the mistake we did and pack a day to day itinerary of things to do that even adults tire from after 4 hours. As kids they will be sick of it after hour 1 and trying your nerves with their clear and vocal disdain for what it is you're forcing them to enjoy.
4. To accompany the suggestion above as a way to break up the trip, or better plan it. Find kid friendly things to-do prior to your trip. Frustrated conversations over bad directions to said places the day of isn't really enjoyable for any party member. To be more specific as to what "to do'" I'm referring to things like playgrounds, science centers, ice cream stores, anything your kids will like that will allow them to engage in their wanted surroundings as well as run off pent up energy to help you get to your next destination.
5. Limit car time. Although you may have planned to drive to points A, B, and C driving to each point could take several hours and is annoying to put it plainly. Eventually those views, books, and even tv/screens will lose their appeal having been literally locked in a car for hours and hours. You also don't want a 2 hour trip to take 5 hours either so gauge what your kids are doing, or seem to can handle and plan from there where and when would be an appropriate time to stop.
6. Write your itinerary in pencil. Meaning make a plan for your trip, but don't be afraid to change it when needed. As I've mentioned our trip was planned out day to day from travel time, destination, coffee shops, and hotels. Sometimes you make mistakes that will have to be corrected. For instance my husband booked a hotel that was 2.5 hours away from where we currently were, and was 3.5 hours from where we wanted to be the following day. He thought it was only 45 minutes. That's quite the time difference. At this point in our trip we had been in the car for about 6 hours. Adding more time to that was causing my brain to melt. We abruptly stopped in a small town called Victor Idaho because we found a hotel there. Thankfully they had rooms. So we changed plans and stayed there for the night. We also decided to stay in Helena an extra night because we loved the room so much. Be flexible, do your best to go with the flow.
7. Lastly as a parent remember this. Traveling with kids is not relaxing. You probably won't have the best time of your lives when traveling with your children. And really, they probably won't either. It's exhausting for everybody. It's great to allow your children to experience life and the world and all of its beauty, even if they may not remember it later in life.
Although I only speak for myself in this blog I really am calling BS on the parents that act like traveling with their children is all smiling faces and good times to be enjoyed by all. The fellow traveling parents we encountered looked just as tired and frustrated as we did. Which is nice because then you don't feel like a failure as a parent, but more like this is just how it is. If you're reading this and you are one of those parents with the never fussing child, who loves to travel and the constant change to their daily routine and have no problems. Well...clearly this blog isn't for you. Feel free to move along.
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